Influences

The picture that you may or may not be able to see above (depending on if I get it to work right) is a drawing that I worked on today. Now it’s been a while since my last post and I do apologise for that, but I wanted to do something really good. And when I got the idea to do this drawing, I also got the idea to write about this.

Now, last night I was terribly bored and didn’t know what to draw. So, I went onto Google and typed in “things to draw” and selected “I’m Feeling Lucky” with a slight nervousness. I didn’t want to get some lewd suggestive thing. What I got, to my delight, was a website full of drawing prompts. I scrolled through them and came across one that struck my interest: a baby smoking. So I did a little thinking and the drawing started to form in my mind. I soon discovered I sucked at drawing babies. My first attempt made it look demonic. However I kept on going and I’m somewhat happy with the results.

Anyway, there’s a message along with this one. Now, as most of everyone will know, there is a lot out there on the Internet, on television, in video games that people shouldn’t be allowed to see until they’re a certain age; that’s why movies are rated, to protect the innocent minds. And there’s nothing wrong with not letting your kids see or play some stuff until they are that age; in fact, I think it’s the right thing to do.

But what I don’t agree with is the whole notion that you’re going to become a violent person, or get into bad habits, or get depressed, or grow up with a negative body image from these television shows, these games, heavy music. Sure, they don’t exactly help, especially not with things like body image. But are they to blame? No. Is the fast food place to blame for getting fat? No. Who is to blame? Us.

Before you get angry and stop reading, hear me out. We complain we’re getting to be an obese country and all that, but who are the ones that are making it that way? Us, the people. Is it the media? Well, if we totally went by the media, I think we all would have stopped eating at McDonalds years ago when Supersize Me came out. I mean, it was enough to make me feel sick. But I’ll admit, I still eat the stuff way more than I should. Why? Because I want it, because I like it. Not because of their ads (in fact, the current one they’re running…I find it to be horridly annoying and always feel like turning the TV off) and I’d still eat the stuff if they raised their prices. And I’m pretty sure that there’s more than just one of me.

As for something like a video game making us violent…no, I don’t believe that. If there are some people that start to act out after playing something like that, then it generally means the urge has always been there and would have come out sooner or later. Some crimes are done for greed, some are done in the heat of the moment and some are done purely because someone thought it would be “fun” to do. This has happened for years and years, long before any game system was even invented. Who can we blame the wars on, if its games and movies making us violent? There is no one to blame because that sort of thing wasn’t out then. It kind of puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?

It’s my belief that yes, while some games, movies, tv shows, songs…the list is endless…can influence us, but it’s never the main cause for it. It’s not the full reason why. Take myself for example – I don’t give a damn about the media, I hate fashion magazines, I don’t care about any slim celebrity…yet I’ve had body image issues for years and years. Who do I blame for that? My mind…and people around me.

We seem to place a lot of blame in these external sources, yet I feel that we’re overlooking one very important thing…we do what we’re taught. As a kid, I was bullied because I was different. That’s why I have body image issues. Not because I saw some ad about how we’ve got to be skinny. An abuser most likely followed the pattern of that from their parents, or their brother, or their uncle, or grandparents…kids are impressionable and will follow along with what they’re taught. You can’t deny that.

We blame a game for kids getting into fights, but do we blame the people that glass each other outside the pubs? Generally not. When we hear a kid swear, do we generally think of, “oh, someone in their family swears”? No, we don’t, we think of what television show they could have heard that from – Family Guy, perhaps?

I believe we need to be more mindful of how we, as humans, behave, than how people are behaving in some game, because we could be the problem. Not some made up content.

Journey of Hills

Last Monday, I went out with a friend of mine. We had lunch and went out for a walk afterwards. I live near a creek and park, so it’s always nice to wander around and just relax. There are two rather steep streets leading to the street which leads to my house. One is closer than the other. On that day, my friend and I took the one a bit further away, because it pretty much was continuous from the path we were already on.

Now, walking up this path brought up a lot of memories. See, it never used to be paved. When I was younger,  it was grass and nothing else. And then one day, we woke up and looked outside to find people working there at the end of the street. The result of that, goodness knows how long later, was that it was a nice, clean, white new pavement. My brother and I were super excited, just because it was something new, something that had changed, because nothing ever changed in my area.

So this brand new path hadn’t been there for long at all when we got a brilliant idea: to get our bikes and ride down it. We only had the one, and that was his. But for some reason, we were able to share it for that activity. We could never share before. But when the path came into it? It was a whole different story.

Over the years of our childhood and teenage years, we would go to the top of this path together. We’d go with our bikes, our scooters and even the skateboard which I bought one day to fit in with the other kids at church. And we’d ride down this steep hill, going at alarming speeds (or alarming for us, as we were young) without even a helmet on for safety. Looking back, we were probably a bit stupid to do that, but neither of us got hurt. In fact, any injuries I got came from riding on a flat surface – figure that one out!

Anyway, so this hill…all my memories came coming back when my friend and I walked up it. She mentioned about how steep it was, and I laughed and told her all about how my brother and I had great fun going down it, trying to be faster and faster each time.

It didn’t hit me what that meant until earlier today, when I was once again walking. I had to go to an appointment, so it was quite necessary to trudge my way up yet another horridly steep hill. And I got to thinking: why put myself through that?

The end result, of course. I needed to get to this appointment; it was with a careers councillor and she was going to help me figure out my future. I needed to get there. So it was worth putting up with heat, and the insanely steep hill, to get there.

And then I got to thinking. See, this hill…when we were kids, we’d go down it. And then my brother and I would get to the bottom, and moan and groan about how we had to not only drag ourselves, but our bike/skateboard/scooter up as well. Did want to do it? No. Was it fun? No. Was it hard? Yes. Especially if it was summer, and it generally was the summertime. It seemed to be the only time my brother and I got on, funnily enough – during the winter we’d fight, but during the summer? We’d go outside and play games. I actually miss those times.

Anyway, back to the point of this entry. Now, going up this hill, back then, last week and today, it was hard work. But what would we do when we were kids? Get excited over how steep it was and go down all over again.

The point to this is that sometimes, we’ve got to go up some huge, horribly steep hill. Sometimes that hill is physical, like it was for me today. Sometimes it’s a mental hill, like trying to climb up out of depression or anxiety. Sometimes it’s illnesses or physical injuries.

And sometimes, we moan and groan about how horrible the journey is, how hard it is, and how we want to just give up. But if you are going up a hill, physically, emotionally or otherwise, just remember: there is generally something good waiting at the top, whether it just relief, a solution or…anything else you’re searching for.

So keep on plodding along. Tough journeys suck but we generally have them for a reason: to obtain knowledge, understanding, good health, happiness, anything.

So just keep on going.

Fathers

If you live in Australia, then you will have known that yesterday, 1st September, was father’s day. In the past, to me, it was just another day. I never got on all too well with my father. I used to think he was annoying and pretty damn stupid. Let me tell you how that started to change.

Last year, the company my dad worked for changed hands and the new owners decided to get new staff. He wasn’t kept on. He got a redundancy package, sure, but that wasn’t enough to sustain us. I didn’t work and neither did my mother. Luckily, a competing company stepped up and put on all staff they could, including my father. We were of course incredibly grateful, but that meant a family of four were living on my father’s twenty-five hours a week wage, my brother’s weekly board (which didn’t count for much considering he ate like a freaking horse) and both me and my mother both on government support.

We were never a rich family but we suddenly had literally no money for the extras. Most of the redundancy package went to fixing the car, buying a new washing machine when ours broke suddenly and just general things we needed. Times were hard. My brother, who’d only just gotten engaged, was saving up to move into a place of his own so he couldn’t help out much.

Times were hard. Instead of being the only one at home, it was either my mum or my dad at home with me at some stage. Sometimes both of them – his hours were only casual and mum…well, she didn’t have a job. She did have a social life, though, unlike me.

That wasn’t where things started to change, that’s just a bit of background. Mid last year I started a course which ran for six months. I was out of the house three days a week, which I found to be brilliant. And then it ended, as all things tend to do. I was supposed to go back this year…but the government rejected the funding thing, and I didn’t have the money myself, so I was left with having no plans for this year.

It wasn’t until recently that things started to change. By some stroke of luck, my mum got a job. Around the same time my dad’s hours of work changed, and he working mostly in the afternoon. I’d wake up each morning to find mum gone and dad pottering around doing…something. Our house isn’t huge so it’s not like I could hide from him. Day by day, he started to become less annoying and a little funnier. We ended up getting into a sort of routine – we’d watch the televised re-runs of Friends before lunch, and then he would get ready to go to work. On Thursdays he’d go get the paper and, if I gave him money, he’d bring back a bottle of Coke and a Snickers bar.

I didn’t realise how enjoyable everything started to be until this past Saturday. We were at the grandparents’ house and, as usual, they were as boring as everything. They ask the same questions over and over. So my father and I started to act like complete and utter idiots together and we had fun.

Sometime during this fun, I had a sudden thought. A friend of mine lost her father around this time last year, and it all of a sudden hit me: what would life be like without my father? The good and the bad…I would put up with it all over again.

I guess the point of this is to honour your parents, and to actually spend time with them. You don’t know when that time will run out. My friend didn’t know. 

So, if you’re living with your parents…go and hug your dad. If you’re not, give him a call. And if, like my friend, your father has passed, then remember them - the good times and the bad.