Does Time Matter: add-on

So I realised last night as I was trying to go to sleep that I never actually included why I'd been silent for a while. My artists brain is somewhat unreliable and once it gets going on one thing, it just...takes over and whatever I planned goes out the window. I was tempted to forgo sleep and do this then, but sleep is rather important and I couldn't bring myself to get up, turn the light on, get my laptop...seemed like too much energy to me. 

So I'm typing this now while wondering if it's going to storm. Oh the things I do...

Anyway, the reason I was silent - I made the decision to sit my exams for study and for the first few days I was in a total panic over what I had to get done. Bad habits are hard to brake and mine certainly was, because I was going down that road all over again.

So I pulled back. Sometimes when you've got a million things you want to do, and wish you can do (like, I don't know, posting on a blog I'm rather proud of, I must admit) the only thing to do is just pull back. 

I love doing this blog. But the thing is, it requires just as many brain cells as it does to study and memorise topics for an exam. I don't just sit on my bed and think, "oh, I may do this today." I put thought into what I type and sometimes it can take a while because I want people to enjoy what they're reading. And I want it to make sense and I have to admit, I am a perfectionist. To the point of when I was studying I got beat myself up over getting 91/100 because I should have gotten higher. 

So it takes a lot, in my mind, to keep this going. And when I was already stressing about getting one thing done on time...I decided the best idea would be to pull back. I'm not saying I focused on study and nothing more, because I didn't; I learned my lesson to never do that again. But I didn't use my brain any more than I had to, because I didn't want to become overwhelmed and obsessed with getting one thing done. This ties into the time because the same thing would have happened when I was studying last time, like bad sleeping habits.

So I just pulled back. For downtime I watched television shows (Family Guy was brilliant for a laugh) or, my latest obsession, I played old Game Boy Advanced roms using an emulator I downloaded. When I needed a break I trained my Pokemon. This doesn't require nearly as many brain cells as typing this right now does. Because I'm conscious, hyper aware, of the words I'm putting down. To the point of seeing them in my mind before I type, to the point of me getting all annoyed because of the difference between the American and English spelling of words like "realise" and "colour" because I hate seeing those little red error lines.

So that's why I've been silent. Because I had to pull back before getting all bent out of shape about the time, or lack thereof, there was to do everything I wanted to do in a day. Sometimes it's just easier to make the sacrifice than it is to do multiple things.